The Desires of My Heart

Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. -Psalm 37:4

"I used to believe it meant that if I did what the Lord asked of me, followed His commandments, and was a 'good girl,' He would grant all my desires and make my dreams come true. ...but I have learned to interpret it in a totally different way. It is not about God making my dreams come true, but about God changing my dreams into His dreams for my life." -Katie Davis, Kisses from Katie, pg. XX

I read this months ago, but I don't think I got it until last week.

Last Sunday, Bruxy [the teaching pastor at my church] talked about how God can speak to us through our desires. If you're trying to make a decision, what you desire might very well be what God's desire for you is as well.

If you lose yourself in following God, if you delight yourself in Him, your desires will align with His. No, Psalm 37:4 doesn't mean if you follow all the rules that God will reward you by giving you a million dollars. But If you're so caught up with putting all your delight in the Lord, your desires will align with His.

I don't know about you, but I'd like my desires to be aligned with God's, rather than Him giving me all my earthly desires.

There's some common misconception that God's will is so tough, and it's never gonna be what you want to do. If you "give up" your life to serve God you're going to hate it. Who came up with that anyways?

It's not true.

If you surrender everything to God and tell Him you'd like to do His will, you will like doing it. I can guarantee that.

For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him. -Philippians 2:13

He's giving you the desire [AND the power!] to advance His Kingdom... No more excuses not to!

I wrote this in my journal the other night:

It makes sense, actually. I mean, God created us to do His will. He also loves us and wants us to be happy. So why is there a misconception that doing His will will make us miserable? No way. HE knows what we want, need and desire better than we do.

What I saw in the UrbanPromise Wilmington staff was a group of people doing God's will, if I ever saw one. In no way are they miserable. Sure, it might be hard some days. It might be tough and discouraging. But it's what they desire. Their desires have been totally aligned with God's.

Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will change your desires into His, and give you the desires of your heart... Because they're His. Get it? :)

The Hunger Games

Yes, I am one of those who didn't read the book, so what right do I have sitting in the theatre, right? ;)

Anyways, if you're thinking about it, I'd recommend you go catch the movie, but not for the reasons you might think.

Sure, cheering for Katniss and Peeta, following the story, the suspense - all that was enjoyable - but please don't let that be all that you take from the movie. Please don't just enjoy cheering for Katniss and Peeta and then leave.

In fact, if you can't enjoy yourself while you're thinking about deep questions, then please don't enjoy yourself.

Injustice is real.

The Hunger Games is real.

Maybe not as drastic, yet.

Today, we turn a blind eye to the poor. Today, we say that trafficking and child labour and forcing children to fight in wars is either "fake", "their own choice", or "not that brutal". Today, we think that war - humans killing humans - is normal, even honourable.

What will it be tomorrow?

Will it go from being okay, to encouraged... to being entertainment? To being a game?

Susanne Collins paints a picture of a futuristic world. And we'll all say, "Oh, that will never happen." We'll all say "It's just a story."

But it IS happening. It might not just be a story. 

As much as I hate to say it, humanity is not far from that. 

The channel is changed as the "Sponsor a Child" commercials come on. Social justice movements are quickly labelled "Scam" and "Fake". Tears are shed for a few days after a disaster in the third world - but when's the last time you thought of Haiti or the Horn of Africa? Joseph Kony forces children to kill... but Kony:2012 still has skeptics drilling it to the ground.

We have a responsibility to make sure our race - the race of humanity - does not end up like the one in the Hunger Games series.

This might be my favourite dialogue in the whole movie, and it's between the bad guys... ;) Take a look:

Hope. It is the only thing stronger than fear.

So contain it? What?

Well, of course that's what the bad guys will say.

Too much hope can be dangerous... to who?

Well, to the bad guys. To the guys who are entertained by the Hunger Games, by injustice. To those who are afraid that if those living in poverty are given too much hope, they'll have to give up some of their luxury in order for everyone to have enough.

Hope. It is the only thing stronger than fear.

Hope, hope in Jesus, is the only thing that will ensure our society doesn't become a Hunger Games society.

And boy am I glad, because as {I hope} you can see from my blog, hope exists.

So look for hope. Spread hope. Give hope. Show hope.

And never, ever give up hope. :)

Back to Routine... Monday Mania :)

Did I really skip two weeks? Yikes. :P

Coming back to routine has been tough since Wilmington, but it's getting better. A lot of the same feelings/thoughts that I had after I came home from the Philippines are coming at me... How to balance, how to live knowing poverty exists - so close to home.

Went to see the Hunger Games yesterday, but that needs its own blog post, so come back tomorrow or Wednesday. ;)

I hope you all had an amazing weekend - and I promise, March has been a bit slow with the blog posts, but I'll be picking it up again... :)



Nothing like some good ol' Taylor Swift. :)

Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. -Psalm 37:4


P.S. Come back cuz I got a blog post on that verse coming too, but it also needs its very own post! ;)

Wilmington

I'm sitting here on my bedroom floor wondering how I can capture the week I had in Wilmington into words, and I can't.

I'm usually pretty good with words [I'm a blogger, after all.], but I don't even know how I'm going to do Wilmington justice.

But here it goes, I shall try.

I'll start at the end.

Friday night.

UrbanPromise has a couple basketball teams in a local league run by a church. On Friday night, we went and watched the 12U game. When we got there, the stands were already packed with UP staff, volunteers and kids.

UrbanPromise fans: 40

Opposing team's fans: 3

Apparently it's like that every game. So anyways, as the game got off to a start, it was clear our team was seriously out matched. An 8-0 start isn't ideal.

Didn't matter. UP's fans never stopped cheering. And then they hit a three and "We went wild!" would be an understatement. And then they hit a lay-up, then another three. Then another, and another. We could've competed with ANY NBA crowd at that moment. ;)

I don't remember the final score. We lost. Bad. But I don't even care. For probably the first time in my entire life, my competitive streak was gone and I didn't even care that the team I was cheering for lost.

Because the joy in the atmosphere made up for everything.

At the beginning of the week, I didn't expect to come home a changed person. I don't know why. Maybe it was because I really expected God to work in me last summer when I went to the Philippines and Kerr Street, and although he did a little, it wasn't what I was expecting. This year I'd kinda just accepted where I was at with God and didn't really want any "God-work" done in me, I just wanted to go serve and come back to my happy life. But God always works when you least expect it, doesn't he?

He brought me to Wilmington and showed me what joy looks like. He showed me His desires, His heart. He showed me brokenness and redemption. He showed me faith, hope and love. And although I've seen these things before, I feel like I understand them way better now.

Throughout the week I saw all those things everywhere. Joy as we sang and danced. Hope as kids were taught sportsmanship and respect at camp. Brokenness as I walked through the neighbourhood where the kids live and saw people's empty stares, boarded up windows and a gun. Redemption as I see the kids dreaming for so much more than what they know. Faith as kids learn and ask questions about God. Love as the staff patiently discipline.

The joy that I saw and found in Wilmington isn't just an empty happiness. No way. It's a Jesus-joy. A joy that can only come from doing God's will. A joy that can only come from your desires being totally aligned with His. 

Don't get me wrong. I saw a lot of brokenness. A lot of pain. The kids acted out, gave the leaders attitude. 

But most of the time, while they were at camp, they taught me to find joy and see Jesus in the small, simple things.

I'm the kind of girl who wants the big, flashy lights from God. But I've been learning that he's in the still, small whispers. He's in the smile and dance after Ja-shy catches a game winning touchdown. He's in the beautiful curiousity of the "Who made God?" questions. He's in the shy smile I get while helping Denzel with homework. He's in Denzel's dream to be a basketball player when he grows up. He's there as we play basketball with a milk crate and a soccer ball. He's in Kafian's messed-up sense of humour as he mixes a burger, chocolate milk and apple sauce and eats it. He's in every high-five, smile, laugh, dance and song. 

He's everywhere, if you look hard enough.

And I guess that brings me back to the end. When I bawled my eyes out 'cause I didn't wanna leave. I'll never be the same after last week. My relationship with my team strengthened, and my relationship with God strengthened. I went to make a difference in Wilmington, and I did, but Wilmington actually made a difference in me.

Thanks to everyone who supported and prayed for me while I was in Wilmington! Your prayers were definitely felt!

I miss UrbanPromise Wilmington already - for sure going back!! :)

3 More Sleeps...

...til Wilmington! :)

I am beyond excited!!!

But before I tell you about how excited I am:

A HUGE thank you to everyone who has supported me financially or in prayer! This doesn't happen without you! THANK YOU! ♥

And a few prayer requests for the week:
  - Safety on the road as well as while we’re there, that we would stay healthy and that all the technical stuff would go well [crossing the border, directions, etc.].
  - That we would really work well together as a team.
  - That God would really prepare our hearts and keep us humble and flexible so that we can serve without distraction.
  - Most importantly, that we will really be able to be the hands and feet of Jesus and that the community in Wilmington would really see Jesus’ love and hope though us.

Thanks so much in advance for you prayers! :)

Anyways, something I've been thinking quite a bit about these past few days is something we talked about over training weekend: "Serving not Saving."

As on any compassion trip, we shouldn't think that we're "saving" anyone. I'm not saying people don't need saving, but I'm saying we're not doing it. 

We're not ever capable of "saving", because we all need saving. Everyday.

Jesus saved me once, but everyday, although I try not to, I somehow fall again, and he comes and picks me up. Again.

So we're going to humbly serve. Jesus will do the saving and he should and will get the glory.

We're also not bringing Jesus into Wilmington this week. No, he's already there. We're just going to help people open their eyes so that they can see Him.

I know I'll see hopelessness this week. I know I'll see pain. 

But I know that in all that I'll uncover hope and healing.

Because there is always hope.

---

Follow along our trip on Twitter and on our blog! :)

Monday Mania

This is from Kutless' new album, Believer.

Believer has seriously been on repeat on my iPod since it came out. Haven't listened to anything else. I fell in love with this song right away. Love the lyrics! :)

I was reading the sermon on the mount last week (Matthew 5-7) and a part that really stuck out to me was when Jesus talks about storing your treasures in heaven, not earth. 

I've heard this said many, many times, but not recently, and it was a really great reminder. No earthly thing that I own or do will last past my time here on earth. All my worth really is in Jesus. That's all that will be left when it's all said and done: What I gave Jesus.

My identity is in Jesus.

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. -Matt. 6:19-21

P.S. No Monday Mania nest week... I'll be in Wilmington! :)